How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
