You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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