Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
