Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
