Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize