You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
