So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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