I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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