I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
