haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I haven't been this sober since birth.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
