Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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