my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
