i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
