Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
