I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
