I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
