she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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