I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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