these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
