apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize