I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
