i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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