i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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