How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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