I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
