he shaved USA in his pubs
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Randomize
