The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
