If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
