You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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