Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
