I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
