Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
