We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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