well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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