if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize