I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
