I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
