hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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