I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize