OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
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