that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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