Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
