the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
