ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
