Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
it's like iHOP with fire
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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