Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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