I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize