Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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