I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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