I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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