woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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