Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
