it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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