the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Randomize
