Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
