I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
