Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize