Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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