Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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