Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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