bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
