First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
