I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
